Your Best Is Enough!
For weeks now, hubby and I have felt like we have been fighting to keep our heads above the water. We are battling on all fronts – we both have full time jobs, run two businesses and have my Doctoral thesis thrown in there for good measure. Least not forgetting our most important job as parents.
We have felt the tug of war for our time and our energy at times exhausting. The work/life balance well and truly tipped (if you are separating work and life...which for us is always a bit blurred anyway!). We have to do lists a mile long each day and never complete them. The house is a constant mess, loads of washing that barely move from the floor to the wash basket. Toys that never get picked up. We work each evening and scrape out ‘date night’ i.e. both home together, not working for dinner on a Friday night – it’s in the Google Calendar so we don’t forget.
Night time doesn’t signal the end of the day – that begins the night shift rotation and although our children are actually what we would call ‘good sleepers’ they are still young. Inevitably one or both wake at some point in the night. Our toddler in particular, when he wakes it often results in an hour long battle to get back to bed. Resting during the day seems totally absurd to us (even though we both know better) and is a last resort.
This is all in our creation, we would not have it any other way…we feel fortunate to have such opportunities ahead of us and yet it’s been hard yacka and we have wondered and doubted our choice to have children and try and maintain our careers…almost daily.
Today however something shifted for me…I can’t quite put it into words…but I will try… I think that although I have chosen our circumstances (previous blog) it’s been today that I really let go of things being any other way. Our second son turns 8 months old today (8 months!!) and Arjun is 2 months off turning 3 (3!!!). We have had a good few days with them – and I believe that’s really come down to me choosing to be there for them 110% when I have had the chance and just let go of things not being perfect. I just got that honestly, nothing in this world is more important than our children. I love my work, making a difference to those around me is so very important. But it’s our babies that do truly come first. Everything we do is for them.
I might not have gazillion likers on Facebook….or be able to post or blog as regularly as others do in my field. I did turn down my job as a university lecturer last year to work for a much more family friendly company with (in my opinion) incredibly strong values. I might not actually get my Doctoral thesis finished by November…I’ll try my darn hardest…but it maybe another 6 months. Do you know what in a few years time that 6 months is not going to make a single bit of difference.
But our boys, our boys that we fought so hard to conceive, put everything on the line for…and work so hard for every single day to give them the best lives that we can…that is worth everything. We will drag ourselves out of bed every single night and work sleep deprived, jacked up on coffee all for them. What’s more they are happy, healthy and thriving (with the odd tantrum thrown in there!) and we could not ask for anything else!
I am still what I guess you would call a career mum. I am content and proud of that…and trust me it’s taken quite some years (ha nearly 3) to be comfortable with that.. But our babies come first. They are the only measuring stick or KPI that we need….and we would do it all again in a heartbeat.
So often as mums we fight against how we think things should be. Letting go of this can be so hard (I truly know!) but honestly whatever you are dealing with or creating for your family…what everyone one else thinks, it really does not matter. This is not about working or not working. We all have made and continue to make sacrifices as mothers, as parents. Your best is enough – never, ever think that it’s not!
xxx The New Mum's Nutritionist
P.S Gorgeous photos courtesy of Folkestone Street Infant and Childcare Centre (our home away from home!)
We have felt the tug of war for our time and our energy at times exhausting. The work/life balance well and truly tipped (if you are separating work and life...which for us is always a bit blurred anyway!). We have to do lists a mile long each day and never complete them. The house is a constant mess, loads of washing that barely move from the floor to the wash basket. Toys that never get picked up. We work each evening and scrape out ‘date night’ i.e. both home together, not working for dinner on a Friday night – it’s in the Google Calendar so we don’t forget.
Night time doesn’t signal the end of the day – that begins the night shift rotation and although our children are actually what we would call ‘good sleepers’ they are still young. Inevitably one or both wake at some point in the night. Our toddler in particular, when he wakes it often results in an hour long battle to get back to bed. Resting during the day seems totally absurd to us (even though we both know better) and is a last resort.
This is all in our creation, we would not have it any other way…we feel fortunate to have such opportunities ahead of us and yet it’s been hard yacka and we have wondered and doubted our choice to have children and try and maintain our careers…almost daily.
Today however something shifted for me…I can’t quite put it into words…but I will try… I think that although I have chosen our circumstances (previous blog) it’s been today that I really let go of things being any other way. Our second son turns 8 months old today (8 months!!) and Arjun is 2 months off turning 3 (3!!!). We have had a good few days with them – and I believe that’s really come down to me choosing to be there for them 110% when I have had the chance and just let go of things not being perfect. I just got that honestly, nothing in this world is more important than our children. I love my work, making a difference to those around me is so very important. But it’s our babies that do truly come first. Everything we do is for them.
I might not have gazillion likers on Facebook….or be able to post or blog as regularly as others do in my field. I did turn down my job as a university lecturer last year to work for a much more family friendly company with (in my opinion) incredibly strong values. I might not actually get my Doctoral thesis finished by November…I’ll try my darn hardest…but it maybe another 6 months. Do you know what in a few years time that 6 months is not going to make a single bit of difference.
But our boys, our boys that we fought so hard to conceive, put everything on the line for…and work so hard for every single day to give them the best lives that we can…that is worth everything. We will drag ourselves out of bed every single night and work sleep deprived, jacked up on coffee all for them. What’s more they are happy, healthy and thriving (with the odd tantrum thrown in there!) and we could not ask for anything else!
I am still what I guess you would call a career mum. I am content and proud of that…and trust me it’s taken quite some years (ha nearly 3) to be comfortable with that.. But our babies come first. They are the only measuring stick or KPI that we need….and we would do it all again in a heartbeat.
So often as mums we fight against how we think things should be. Letting go of this can be so hard (I truly know!) but honestly whatever you are dealing with or creating for your family…what everyone one else thinks, it really does not matter. This is not about working or not working. We all have made and continue to make sacrifices as mothers, as parents. Your best is enough – never, ever think that it’s not!
xxx The New Mum's Nutritionist
P.S Gorgeous photos courtesy of Folkestone Street Infant and Childcare Centre (our home away from home!)