PhD Watch - Time Minus 1 Month
This is it (gulp). 4 weeks – 1 goal: A 50,000 word Doctoral Thesis. The sum total of over 10 years of tertiary education, 6 years of postgraduate study including 4 years of hard, challenging and equally incredible doctoral thesis work. I am terrified. Terrified of not making it, of failing. Terrified of letting my family down. My husband who has sacrificed so much, more than he ever imagined to get me here. My boys, my precious boys who have been nothing short of my inspiration, drive, and courage. It’s Everest Base Camp and I can’t see the top, but there is no time to rest. No time to allow my fear to enter in. I have to do this and I’m going to. I am going to give it everything I have and then some. I have come too far now, too far to give up. Too far to let anything stand in my way. I have already used all my annual leave and sick leave from work as I needed more time to write solidly. The extra time away from my teaching position has meant the team had had to pull together and carry the load in my absence - and I am so grateful for all their support. I have worked hard to complete many business projects leading to this point and will find it difficult to reduce down the time I put into our community right now because, quite frankly I love you all and this never feels like work to me. I will be away from home and my family for a reasonable part of this month to maximise every chance I have to be able to get this thesis finished. I do not even allow myself to think about how much I will miss my little tribe…when I told Arjun tonight I was going away next week he said to me “please don’t go away mummy, please don’t go and write your book stay here and be with me…” my poor heart just ached. I just tell myself over and over it will all be worth it.