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Chocolate Cake Vs Your Sanity?...I get it....I totally get it!

That moment.

That moment when you actually do not know if you can actually do it.

If you can get through the next minute, no next second and be the mum you are meant to be.

That moment when the slight bit of fear grips your heart and your brain goes into overdrive.

I had it A LOT with our first son, less so with our second but last weekend I did and it reminded me that sometimes despite my best effort, it can come down to straight survival…humbled me to be really honest. There’s a time when perfect nutrition goes out the window – and it was not until I was a mum that I REALLY TRULY understood that.

It was always going to be a more ‘challenging’ day than normal. The boys were up at 5am and we were going to a friends place for brunch in the middle of Arjun’s sleep time. We typically avoid this like the plague as the impact is just so not worth it (will we ever learn?!)

We came home around 2pm, boys had crashed out in the car. Hubby had to go to a work meeting. Baby woke up and would not resettle in his cot just as which I’m trying to do this the toddler wakes up. Distressed in the car with about 20mins sleep – so I had both crying (screaming in fact) both out of sorts and just one of me.

Toddler was also dealing with new jealous emotions about a train at our friends place – I say new as in new with a more rational brain to compute that someone else has something he’s wanted for ages (my heart breaking with this as well).

I tried everything with both of them to calm them, get them to settle. I would have made a rainbow, worn a tutu, …danced to the wiggles….just to keep them happy or at least settled and calm. NOTHING WAS WORKING. NOTHING.

I had that thought – that fear that gripped me – what the hell do I do? Oh god can I actually do this? Who can I call…. I’m not sure what to do? HELP!! And I really only had seconds to make a decision with screaming children ringing in my ears.

I did the only thing I thought would work. Toddler into the cot (safe space - please stay there please…). Baby in the car. Back upstairs. Toddler in the car…Both screaming blue murder….Back up stairs to make a bottle. Grabbed whatever food I could find – crackers, raisins, bananas and raced out the door. Baby settles, toddler still crying so gets bribed with raisins. Eventually both calm. I was able to breathe again.

It made me think in that moment in that VERY moment there was something more than packing a perfect lunch box, it’s called survival and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one to experience this. You seriously doubt both your sanity and your ability as a mum. Those who have more than 2 children…I am simply just in awe.

The destination was to the mall, which is my safe place (indoors, kids areas, food, toilets you get the picture). We arrive and I’m juggling our toddler in the pram and forgot the carrier so got the baby on my hip and trying to push the pram with one hand... which by the way is not as easy as it sounds! We beeline to Farmers on a train mission – the promise of this for our toddler was also how I got out the door. Yes thoughts of “am I just giving him what he wants?” buzzing around my head....don't even ask about the forgotten weekly budget plan.

So there we were in the train aisle of Farmers, toddler happy and excited trying to choose his train and I’m sitting on the ground feeding the baby – not caring what anyone else thought and if someone said anything I was going to shoot them laser beam eyes. We then went off to get a fluffy. We got the full fluffy experience - chocolate sprinkles, marshmallows the whole shebang. If my toddler had asked for cake I would have given it to him. If I felt like cake I would have brought it – my soul needed it. As it turned out I just wanted coffee – no. 4 for the day (I normally have a maximum of 3).

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Why am I telling you this?

Because I want you to know I GET IT!

I SO GET IT

When it turns pear-shaped. When you try your darn hardest…but you wonder if you should have bothered at all…When you just can’t see past the next minute let alone the next hour…Your dealing with little people with enormous needs all on your own, and I so get what it feel like to be the rock that carriers it all….when you often have no idea yourself.

I get that sometimes you just have to hold your heart in your hand, take a deep breath and survive.

I get that sometimes that whopping bit of cake is your only lifeboat of sanity; your oasis in a storm.

Nutritionist, PhD, Business Owner, Head Tutor…nothing compares to the job title of Mother. Nothing.

No one should judge you for doing what you need to – to survive.

I want you to know that I don’t – I really don’t.

This will end…whatever phase ‘this’ is…is might be hours. It might be days…it might be weeks. But it will end and then when your heads above water…just focus on nourishing from the inside out in the small ways that you can. Whatever you do – do not feel guilty about making ‘bad’ food choices. We have enough guilt as mums to carry around. Have empathy for yourself and what you are dealing with, from there you can make change, you won’t do this by being hard on yourself.

Above all else NEVER EVER FORGET

You are beautiful, you are amazing, you are a mother!


xxx The New Mum's Nutritionist

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